Divine Intervention Sapporo Ramen

Last night, we had a religious experience. My wife's eyes rolled back in her head and she started speaking in tongues. I started weeping out of a profound, unexpected joy. Even the dog made odd noises. Of course, we didn't find Jesus; I just made the most amazing ramen ever. The wife's expression happened to be "domo arigato gozimus" and my profound weeping was because I nailed the broth perfectly. And the dog turned out to just be gassy. So even though we didn't find eternal salvation, it turned out to be a pretty remarkable night, nevertheless.

This is a slight revision to Sapporo-style ramen. That ramen uses butter to add a richness to the broth. However, as a not-huge fan of butter, I opted for coconut milk instead. Also, since the broth is traditionally cooked with various animal bits to add umami, I make a few vegetarian-friendly tricks, like incorporating mushrooms, browning the miso, and adding some fermented black beans. The result is a perfect, harmonious balance of savory, rich, satisfying bowl of noodles and vegetables with just a touch of sweetness.

Note that you can get the needed Japanese ingredients at any Asian grocer, including kombu, wakame, hijiki, mirin, bonito flakes, fermented black bean paste, and buckwheat noodles.

Prep time: 3 cocktails

Egg marinade:
2 eggs
2-3 TBSP soy sauce
2-3 TBSP mirin (Japanese cooking wine)
1/2 cup water

Broth base:
2-inch square kombu or 3 TBSP wakame or hijiki
5 good-sized shiitake mushrooms
6 cups water
1 cup bonito flakes
1 tsp anchovy paste (optional)

Seasoning mix:
1 TBSP sesame seeds
2 tsp untoasted sesame oil
3 cloves garlic, minced
1" piece ginger, grated with microplane or finest side of a box grater
3 scallions, chopped
2 TBSP miso paste
2 TBSP fermented black bean paste
1/4 cup mirin or sake
2 TBSP soy sauce
1 cup coconut milk

Soup elements:
8 ounces dried buckwheat noodles
1/2-1 cup mung bean sprouts
1 bunch spinach, stems removed
1/2-1 cup frozen sweet corn
1 block tofu, chopped into 3/4" cubes (can be firm or silken/soft, depending on preference), optional

Optional garnishes: 
Bonito flakes, chopped scallions, and/or a drizzle of toasted sesame oil

A couple hours before you start the soup, you'll need to make the eggs, since the need to marinate. You want to medium-boil your eggs by gently dropping them in boiling water and reducing heat to a very low boil. Boil them for 7-8 minutes. Remove and place under cool running water and remove shells. Then combine the peeled eggs with the rest or the marinade ingredients in a small Tupperware container or zip-lock bag and put in the refrigerator.

Now make the broth by combining all the broth ingredients in a pressure cooker. With the lid off, bring to a boil but remove the kombu right before you boil or it will become slimy (if using hijiki or wakame, no need to remove). Once boiling, put the lid on it and bring up to normal pressure for your altitude for 10 minutes. Then remove from heat and let pressure drop completely. Remove lid and strain out mushrooms and any remaining seaweed.

While your broth is cooking, you can pre-prep the some of your soup elements. Cook the noodles according to the directions on package and cool them under running water and set aside. Bring a pot of water to a boil and blanch the bean sprouts for 1 minute and strain them out. In the same water, you can then blanch the spinach for 3-4 minutes and strain out. Let cool and then squeeze all the moisture out and chop it up coarsely. Finally, add the corn to the boiling water for a couple minutes, then drain and set aside (you can obviously make all these veggies in separate pots of water, if you would prefer).

Next, start on the seasoning mix. Heat a small frying pan over medium heat. When hot, add sesame seeds and toast for a couple minutes, stirring pretty frequently. When they are lightly toasted, transfer to an electric spice grinder and grind into a powder. Set aside.

Now in a large pot or dutch oven, heat the untoasted sesame oil over medium heat. Add garlic, ginger, and scallions and saute for 1-2 minutes. Now add miso and bean paste and stir constantly for a couple minutes. You want some of the paste to get browned stuck to the pan, but don't let anything fully burn. Next, deglaze the paste by adding the mirin/sake and sesame seed powder. Once everything is incorporated and the bits that were stuck to the pan are unstuck, add the soy sauce and coconut milk. Stir everything well and add the broth from the pressure cooker (after removing mushrooms and seaweed). Adjust seasoning if necessary by adding salt or soy sauce to taste. Add tofu cubes and bring to a low boil for a couple minutes. Then it's ready to serve!

In a bowl, combine your noodles, corn, spinach, sprouts, and tofu. Pour the broth over the top and slice your marinated eggs in half lengthwise and add a half an egg. Top with any of the additional garnishes of your choice and serve!

Burmese coconut noodles from Shan state

We just got home last week after 6 months of travel! It feels amazing to sleep in our own bed again!  We spent time in some remarkable spots in the western US, southern Mexico and Thailand. But the most memorable adventure we took was the 2+ weeks we spent in Myanmar. 

Myanmar (aka Burma) isn't as well known as some of its neighbors for food. Indeed, it kind of gets a bad reputation for greasy, bland noodles and little else. While we found this to often be the case in the south, the northeastern state of Shan had some of the most outstanding cuisine I've had anywhere. Shan is at a culinary crossroads with heavy influences from neighboring China and Southeast Asia, plus some uniquely local twists. The Shan food was so good, we each packed on a couple extra pounds during our travels. And it was worth every extra mile I now have to run to burn it all off!

This recipe is my attempt to capture the essence of Shan cuisine--a balance of fishiness, spice, and tang all served over a heap of noodles with a ton of simple garnishes. If you're looking for something unique, satisfying, and straightforward to make, this is your dish. 

Note that strict vegetarians or vegans won't want to forego the fish sauce altogether, as it is essential to achieve the right flavor and balance. You can find a lot of recipes for vegan fish sauce online, mostly involving a combination of soy sauce, dried seaweed, and dehydrated mushrooms. I suggest going with one of those.

Prep time: 3 cocktails

Noodles:

2 cups chopped shallots

2 stalks lemongrass

1/4 cup peanut oil, divided

1 block of extra firm tofu, chopped into 3/4 - 1" cubes

1/4 cup chickpea flour (sometimes called besan--it is sold in bulk at natural grocers and in Indian markets)

1/2 tsp turmeric

1" piece of ginger, minced

5 cloves garlic, minced

1 14-ounce can coconut milk

2 TBSP fish sauce

1-2 tsp fermented soybean paste (available at any Asian grocer)

1 TBSP tamarind concentrate

1 tsp sugar

8 ounces dried noodles

Salt to taste (I usually need about 1/2 tsp)

Garnishes:

Minced cilantro

Lime wedges

Roasted peanuts, chopped coarsely

2 hard-boiled eggs, peeled and sliced into thin wheels

Shredded red or Napa cabbage

Red chili flakes

Start by prepping your shallots. Once you've got the 2 cups chopped, you want to get them very finely minced. You can do this by hand, but it's faster to toss it all in the food processor and pulse until it is a fine mince, but not so well processed that it starts to become a slurry. Set aside.

Now, peel outer layer from each lemongrass stalk. Then, using a sharp serrated knife, remove the tough 1-2 bottom inches and the top third of the stalks. Then chop your usable remaining lemongrass into 1/2-inch segments. Transfer to a mortar and grind it until you just have lemongrass fibers. Set aside.

In a large, heavy frying pan, heat 2 TBSP of the peanut oil over medium to medium-high heat. Add tofu cubes and saute until they become a nice dark golden-brown. This takes about 10-20 minutes, depending on the moisture content of the tofu. You'll need to stir almost constantly to prevent the tofu from sticking and you will also need to be careful not to break the tofu. Add a bit of extra oil if it all cooks off and tofu is sticking. Once fully cooked, transfer the tofu to a plate and set aside.

While you're working on the tofu, you can also toast the chickpea flour. Put it in a dry frying over medium-low to medium heat. Stirring almost constantly, dry-fry the flour until it turns a light brown. Then remove from heat, whisk in 1/2 cup water and set aside.

Once your tofu and chickpea flour are done, you can start to prepare your noodles.

As the noodles do their thing, you can assemble the sauce. Start by heating the remaining 2 TBSP peanut oil in a large pan or wok over medium heat. Once hot, add the turmeric and saute a few seconds. Then add the shallots and saute until they soften and become translucent, about 4 minutes. Add ginger and garlic and saute another 1-2 minutes. now, add coconut milk, fish sauce, soybean paste, tamarind concentrate, sugar, tofu, pulverized lemongrass, and chickpea paste. Bring to a simmer and cook, uncovered about 5 minutes or until you have reached the consistency of a thick cream sauce or gravy. Adjust salt and other flavorings as needed until you have a perfect balance.

Serve over noodles with all the garnishes!

Porkless Dandan Mian

Dandan noodles are Schezuanese street noodles that are rich, spicy, and filling. Definitely my latest culinary obsession! The name comes from the stick called a dan dan that vendors walk down the street with carried over the shoulder. From the end of the stick hangs a pair of baskets: one with the noodles and the other with the sauce.  Though there's no stick involved here, there's enough big, amazing, rich Schezuan flavor here to make you think that you've magically been transported to Chengdu if you take a bite and close your eyes. I'm especially proud of the tofu/mushroom pork substitute in this recipe that will literally fool any carnivore you serve this dish to. If anybody bitches to you that they think tofu is gross, feed them this dish and tell them to shut the hell up!

Normally served fiery hot, my recipe is a bit more tame, but you can dial up the heat with chili flakes when you serve it (like I do!). Anything in the ingredient list that you don't already have in the pantry can be acquired at any Asian grocer and most ingredients will even be at a standard supermarket.

Prep time: 3 cocktails

Noodles:
8 ounces dry noodles

Tofu/mushroom "pork":

1 package extra firm tofu
2 TBSP soy sauce
2 TBSP fish sauce
2 TBSP brown sugar
1/2 tsp toasted sesame oil
1 TBSP Sambal Oelek (NOT Siracha--Sambal Oelek is much better!)
2 1/2 TBSP Chinese black vinegar (Chinkiang vinegar) - available at any Asian grocer
6 TBSP hong you (Szechuan chili oil), recipe here, divided
~12 shiitake or crimini mushrooms, washed
3 scallions, chopped
8 cloves garlic
1 TBSP ginger, grated

Broth:
1/3 cup peanut butter
1 1/2 cups vegetable stock, store-bought or homemade
2 TBSP mirin cooking wine
1-2 TBSP oyster sauce
1-2 TBSP soy sauce
1/2 tsp toasted sesame oil

Toppings:
2 tsp Schezuan peppercorns
Bean sprouts or steamed bok choi (optional)
Red chili flakes or the red chilies from the bottom of your Hong You (Szechuan chili oil)
3 scallions, chopped

Drain and rinse the block of tofu. Wrap it in a dish towel and place a weighted plate on top to press out excess moisture, at least 30 minutes. This step is critical if you want the right "pork" consistency for your tofu.

As tofu is getting pressed, make the broth by combining all the broth ingredients except the sesame oil in food processor and process until combined. Transfer to a pan on the stovetop, add toasted sesame oil, and keep warm it up to serving temperature and maintain at that temperature until you're ready to serve.

Prep the noodles according to their directions, rinse and set aside.

Place a small, dry frying pan on the stovetop and heat on medium heat. Add the Schezuan peppercorns and toast until they darken a little bit and become s bit smoky and fragrant. Transfer to a spice grinder and process into a powder. Set aside.

Now make the tofu/mushroom pork:
In a small bowl, whisk together soy sauce, fish sauce, brown sugar, toasted sesame oil, vinegar, and Sambal Oelek. Set aside. After the tofu has been pressed for at least 30 minutes, crumble it up by hand into fairly small crumbles. Place a large frying pan over medium-high heat and add 3 TBSP hong you. Once the oil shimmers, add the crumbled tofu. Continue to stir and break up the tofu with a metal spatula until it is lightly browned and a bit crisped--but not totally fried! Remove from heat and transfer tofu to a plate. Now, take a food processor and pulse the mushrooms until the pieces are no larger than about 1/4" -- about 8 good pulses. Put the frying pan from the tofu right back on that medium-high burner and add the other 3 TBSP hong you. Then add the mushrooms. Saute until they turn a deeper brown, shrink down to about half of their original volume, and break down into a semi-paste. Then add the 3 TBSP scallions, garlic, and ginger. Saute another 1-2 minutes. Now incorporate the soy and fish sauce combination you made at the beginning of this step, as well as the tofu that you've set aside. Stir just until everything has been incorporated and remove from heat.

Now dish up by laying a bed of noodles in the bottom of the bowl. Add bean sprouts, tofu/mushroom pork, and ladle broth over the top. Garnish with a pinch of Schezuan peppercorn powder and as much red chili flakes or the red chilies from the bottom of your hong you as you can handle!! EAT! 

Puttanesca: A Perfect Pasta for the Whore in All of Us

In Italian, puttanesca translates to “whore-style.” Nobody’s sure where the name comes from, but one story is that this is a quick, inexpensive dish that enabled the prostitutes of Naples to prepare it between clients. But fear not: you needn't be a culinary whiz nor a lady of the night to enjoy this zippy, umami-rich delight. Really all you need are a few readily-accessible pantry staples and a few minutes. Plus enormous volumes of red wine, of course. 

Prep time: 1 cocktail

3 TBSP olive oil

5 cloves garlic, minced

8 anchovy filets

1 teaspoon red pepper flakes

1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes, drained (or a few chopped ripened tomatoes)

3 TBSP capers, drained

½ cup Kalamata olives, pitted and chopped up a bit

¼ cup Italian flat leaf parsley or fresh basil, finely chopped

Splash or two of white wine (optional)

Prepared spaghetti or polenta

Fresh-grated Parmesan cheese (optional)

Heat oil in large pan over medium high heat and add garlic, anchovies, and pepper flakes. Stirring frequently, sauté until anchovies break down and garlic turns golden (but not brown), about 2-3 minutes. Add tomato and continue stirring frequently until tomato begins to break down a bit, about 8-10 minutes.

Stir in capers, olives, parsley or basil, and wine, if using. Simmer another 5 minutes. Salt to taste, top with Parmesan.

Kimchi Chigae

Pronounced "chee-gay", this dish is actually best when you use super over-ripe kimchi. So opening the jar instantly makes your kitchen smell like an unkept college football locker room, you're in luck! And not to brag, but this recipe is better than any I've ever had in a restaurant. So if you're looking to expand your Korean repertoire and try something a little unusual, this is the ticket!

Prep time: 1 1/2 cocktails

3 TBSP peanut oil

3-4 cups kimchi (over-fermented is best), drained and liquid reserved

1-inch piece of ginger, grated

3 cloves garlic

2 Jalepeno peppers (optional)

2 TBSP Braggs

1 veggie bouillon cube

2 tsp sugar

1 12-ounce package firm tofu, drained and cut into ¾-inch cubes

3 green onions, chopped
A touch of toasted sesame oil

Prepared rice (optional)

Heat the oil in a large pan or Dutch oven over medium-high heat. When hot, add drained kimchi, ginger, garlic and peppers/Siracha. Sauté for 5 minutes, stirring frequently.

Add Braggs, bouillon cubes, sugar, tofu, and reserved kimchi juice then fill the pot with water so that it comes a couple inches above the kimchi. Bring the soup to a boil and reduce to a simmer for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Add in green onions and continue cooking 2 more minutes.

Add more soy sauce to taste (the amount depends on how big and funky the flavor of your kimchee was when you started. Serve over rice or by itself and drizzle with a few drops of sesame oil before serving.

Kimchijeon (Korean Kimchi Pancakes)

I'm on a savory pancake kick lately. After concocting the world's greatest zucchini-feta pancakes a couple weeks ago, I found some over fermented kimchi in the back of the fridge. It was so far gone, it smelled as though my adorable black lab with a sensitive stomach ate a wheelbarrow of rotting cabbage and bottled the resulting flatulence for me as an early Christmas gift. It was rough stuff.

But the beauty of kimchi is that you can take a batch that's super overripe and turn it into all kinds of cool things, like kimchijeon--savory Korean pancakes. In fact, using overripe dogfart kimche is actually preferable (though the fresh stuff is good too). So next time you find a biohazardous science experiment fermenting in the back of the refrigerator, don't pitch it, pancake it!

Bonus points, you can whip this up in 15 minutes flat!

Prep time: 1/2 cocktail

Dipping sauce:

2 TBSP soy sauce
2 TBSP rice vinegar
1 tsp untoasted sesame oil
1 tsp chili flakes
1 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp sesame seeds

Whisk all this stuff together in a small bowl and set aside.

Kimchijeon:

1.5 cups white flour

2 eggs, beaten

1 tsp salt

1/2 cup water

1/2 cup kimchi juice

1 tsp sugar

Red chili flakes to taste

1 1/2 cup kimchi, chopped up coarsely (use either store bought or homemade), ideally overripe

A few TBSP oil

1-2 chopped scallions (optional)

Combine first 7 ingredients in a mixing bowl and whisk until all the lumps are gone. Stir in kimchi.

Heat a frying pan over medium heat with about 3 TBSP oil in it. When it's hot, ladle in enough batter to make a pancake about 6-8" in diameter. When the bottom gets a nice golden brown, gently flip. Remove when the other side is golden brown. Top with scallions.

Repeat until your batter is used up, adding more oil as necessary. 

Kimchi

Kimchi—a spicy, fermented cabbage dish—has been a staple in the Korean diet for at least two thousand years. Historically, kimchi was prepared by combining spices, salt, and cabbage in giant clay pots, then burying the pots underground for several days to ferment. Typically, kimchi is served as a side dish to Korean barbecue or other meat dishes, but I love it as an accompaniment to any Chinese or Korean meal. 

Note that any unusual ingredients—such as shrimp paste and fish sauce—can be purchased at any Asian grocer or can be found in the Asian aisle at many large supermarkets. 

I will mention that kimchi is a bit of an acquired taste. If you’re not feeling super adventurous, simply eat this dish right away (without fermenting it). The raw product is simply a spicy coleslaw and is a great side dish. If you're not as adventurous, using regular green cabbage instead of Napa cabbage makes this dish way easier to enjoy.

Finally, leftover kimchi or kimchi that has been over-fermented (more than three weeks) can be used in many recipes. You can incorporate it into dumplings, savory Korean pancakes, fried rice, or kimchi stew (kimchi chigae). I even love it as a topping for grilled veggie burgers with a fried egg and grilled pineapple! So if your kimchi doesn’t turn out as you would like or if it is past its prime, don’t throw it out—just get creative.

Prep time: 1 cocktail

½ cup salt

2 quarts + 1 cup warm water

1 large head Napa or Savoy cabbage, core removed, chopped into bite-sized pieces

3 TBSP fish sauce

2 TBSP ginger, grated

5 cloves garlic, minced

1-3 TBSP hot pepper powder (a mix of cayenne and paprika - vary the ratio and total amount depending on how hot you want your kimchi... or use Korean gochugaru  chili powder)

1 tsp shrimp paste

1 TBSP sugar

3 carrots or a piece of daikon, sliced into matchstick-sized strips (optional)

2 bunches scallions, chopped

Handful sesame seeds (optional)

                                                                                   

Dissolve the salt into 2 quarts of water in a very large mixing bowl. Add the cabbage. If there isn’t enough water to cover the cabbage, add more. Cover with a weighted plate to keep everything well-submerged. Set aside for at least 4 hours.

In a small bowl, whisk together fish sauce, ginger, garlic, chilies, shrimp paste, and sugar. 

Remove cabbage from its bowl, save the brine liquid, then rinse cabbage very, very well, gently squeeze out moisture, and strain or put through a salad spinner.

Combine cabbage, fish sauce/chili mixture, carrot and scallions. Mix well. As mentioned above, this is the point at which you can eat the kimchi raw. But if you want the fermented variety, pack the mixture tightly into pint or quart mason jars (don’t use metal containers, as the kimchi will react with it and it will stain plastic Tupperware after a few days) and fill remainng space in the jar with leftover brine. Firmly seal the lids and store in a cool dark place for ~48 hours or until you reach desired flavor, flipping the jars upside down after the first day. After that, move the kimchi to the refrigerator. Anytime after going into to the fridge, it is ready to eat. Don’t be afraid if you open the jars and see bubbles or it smells sour—this is a natural part of the fermentation process. As mentioned above, it is good in the fridge for about three weeks.

(Note that if you have a pickling crock, you can also ferment in there for 48 hours with brine covering the kimchi and a weithted plate on top to keep everything submerged.)

Pad Thai: Kind of Like the Steve Buscemi of Food

Much like the casting of a Coen Brothers movie, you'd think Pad Thai is just an ensemble of weird shit. But, just as any good Coen Brothers film can combine the likes of Philip Seymour Hoffman, Steve Buscemi, and John Goodman with surprising synergy, this dish combines ingredients like tamarind, vinegar, shrimp paste, and eggs to create an unexpectedly delightful meal. It's so good, it'll make you want to move to Fargo.

The stuff like shrimp paste, tamarind paste, palm sugar, fish sauce, and rice noodles can be found at any Asian grocer or most large supermarkets. And you can always veganify this by substituting 3-4 TBSP soy sauce for the shrimp paste and fish sauce. But keep in mind that many of these ingredients can vary a lot in intensity by brand, so the amounts below should only be a rough guide. You'll need to adjust as you go, based on flavor and personal preference.

Prep time: 2 cocktails.

1 batch Incredible Jerk Tofu (but replace first 5 ingredients with 1-2 TBSP Siracha)

2 TBSP tamarind paste

8 ounces wide (fettuccine-size) Asian rice noodles

3 TBSP fish sauce

1-2 tsp shrimp paste

3 TBSP sugar

1 TBSP rice vinegar

3-6 Thai chilies, sliced into thin wheels

3 TBSP peanut oil

5 cloves garlic, minced

1 bunch scallions, chopped

2 eggs, scrambled together

A handful of peanuts, chopped up a bit

1/2 bunch cilantro, chopped

1 lime, sliced into wedges

3 cups bean sprouts

Prepare tofu according to the hyperlinked recipe (with adaption) and set in the refrigerator to cool. 

Bring 4 quarts of water to a boil. Combine 3/4 cup of that water in a bowl with the tamarind paste. Set aside for 10 minutes to cool. After 10 minutes, with a fork, break up the tamarind completely. You'll have some big pulpee bits and maybe some seeds. Remove these with your hands or, if you want to be cleaner, pass it all through a mesh strainer and discard the solids.

After you've removed the boiling water for the tamarind, remove the pot from the heat and immediately add the noodles. Let the noodles sit for 10 minutes, then drain, rinse with cold water, and set aside.

In a small bowl whisk together fish sauce, shrimp paste, palm sugar, rice vinegar, and chilies. Set aside.

In a wok, heat the oil on medium-high heat. When it's hot, add garlic and 2/3 of the scallions. Saute 3-4 minutes. Then scoot them off to the side and add the egg to the cleared area. Once the egg sets, scramble it up with a spatula. When egg is just tender-done, add the noodles, tamarind juice, and fish sauce mixture. Stir well. Once everything is incorporated, add tofu, peanuts, and cilantro. Stir it all up again. Then stir in the bean sprouts and remaining scallions. Remove from heat and serve with lime wedges, additional peanuts, and Siracha all as optional garnishes. And a Thai beer! 

Drunken Noodles

The origins of drunken noodles are no longer known. Some people believe that these noodles got their name because they are so spicy that they're impossible to eat without drinking a shitload of beer during the meal. Others contend that the combination of ingredients is so strange that the name came about because only a drunkard would have thrown these things all together. Either way, the combination of sweet, spicy, and salty is deliciously balanced in this classic!


As with the other Thai recipes, some of these ingredients (such as fish sauce, the rice noodles, and Thai peppers) seem pretty exotic, but can all be found at a good Asian grocer. Keycap manis is a type of sweetened, fermented soy sauce. Also, remember Thai and Italian basil are very different. Stick with Thai basil ONLY.

Prep time: 2 cocktails

1/2 of a 14-ounce package wide, flat rice noodles
3 TBSP fish sauce
½ cup keycap manis
2 TBSP soy sauce
1 TBSP cornstarch
1 tsp sugar
3 TBSP vegetable oil
4 cloves garlic, minced
10 Thai chilies, chopped into 1/8‖ thick wheels
1 pound package extra firm tofu, cut into ¾-inch cubes
1-2 cups sliced, mixed vegetables (optional) (you can use tomatoes, carrots, bell pepper, cabbage, zucchini, broccoli, etc.)
½ cup Thai basil leaves, tear biggest ones in half
A handful of peanuts
1 cup bean sprouts
1-2 limes, cut into wedges

Put the noodles into boiling water. Cook until still fairly al dente. Remove, strain, then plunge into an ice bath. After a few minutes in the ice bath, you can re-strain and set aside.

While noodles are cooking, combine fish sauce, keycap manis, soy sauce, cornstarch, and sugar in small bowl. Whisk very well and set aside.

Heat oil in wok or large frying pan over medium-high heat. Once wok is hot, add garlic and chilies. Stirring a couple times, sauté for about 45-60 seconds (but don‘t let garlic brown). Then add sauce mixture and tofu. Stir frequently for 3-4 minutes.

Add noodles and vegetables and cook another 3-4 minutes, stirring frequently.

Stir in Thai basil and peanuts and continue stirring frequently another minute or so. Remove from heat and serve hot with bean sprouts on top and squeeze a few lime wedges over the whole mess.

Shito

Shito (sometimes spelled shitor) is an essential condiment in Ghanaian cuisine. It's damn good with any type of Ghanaian food, but also as a rub for grilling, as an exotic dipping sauce for fish, or a spicy marinade for vegetables. You can also add a dollop to homemade mayonnaise to give it a great kick.

The shrimp powder or paste can be purchased at any Asian grocer; as can the dried anchovies. However, the dried anchovies are usually sold whole, so you‘ll need to turn them into a powder using an electric spice grinder or mortar and pestle.

Prep time: 1 cocktail

1 cup canola oil
2 small onions, chopped finely
3-inch piece ginger, finely minced
3-4 ounces tomato paste
2-4 TBSPS Siracha
2 tsp salt
2 TBSP powdered shrimp (you can substitute shrimp paste)
2 TBSP dried anchovy, powdered
12 drops liquid smoke

Heat oil over medium heat. Add onion and ginger. Stirring frequently, sauté for 15 minutes or until onions turn a nice golden to golden brown.

Add tomato paste and stir very frequently 5-10 more minutes.

Add chili paste and sauté 10 more minutes, stirring frequently.

Add salt, shrimp, anchovy, and liquid smoke. Reduce heat to a low simmer and stir very frequently for 15 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool at least 1 hour before serving.

This recipe stores well in a jar or other narrow container. The oil will separate a bit, but this buffer will keep it from going bad. It'll store indefinitely.

International Sushi: Four Ways

Pics (top to bottom):

--The Chinaman is Not the Issue

--I Want to Dreadlock and Roll Every Night (And Sushi Every Day)

--The Muppet

--The Music Critic

So world-famous music blogger Kathleen Tarrant came over last night for a novice chef sushi-off. I'm not sure who won, but I was surprised at how easy, fun, and fast sushi-making is. We covered four very-not-Japanese styles of cuisine with our rolls: Chinese, Jamaican, Brazilian, and American.

My recipes are in regular font, hers are in italics.

Whose cuisine will reign supreme? You be the judge!

Prep time: 2-3 cocktails (for all four rolls)

Sushi Rice (for 4 rolls):

1 ½ cup white sushi rice (don't use any other type!)

1 ¾ cup water

3 TBSP rice vinegar

2 TBSP sugar

1 tsp salt

4 sheets of nori (available at any natural grocer or Asian market)

Start by washing the rice. In a large bowl add cold water to the rice. Stir it around with your hands for several seconds and strain out water. Repeat this process over and over until the water is clear after swishing. It can take a while.

Bring water to a boil. Add rice, cover, and reduce to a low simmer. Cook 20 minutes (a little less if you're at sea level), and remove from heat. Let it rest, still covered, for 15 minutes.

While rice sits, whisk together vinegar, sugar, and salt (to get everything to dissolve, you might want to warm the mixture up in the microwave for 45 or so seconds.

After your rice has sat for the 15 minutes, VERY GENTLY stir in the vinegar mixture--be careful not to mash any of the rice.

You want to start building the rolls while the rice is still hot. On a sushi mat, lay a sheet of Nori, followed by rice, followed by toppings. It's difficult to describe sushi rolling. So I recommend you just hop onto YouTube and pull up some sushi rolling directions. A few minutes of video will have you rolling like a pro!

Two rolling notes:

1)We didn't bother with plastic wrap--as some of the directions recommended--and our rolls turned out fine.

2)Use a SHARP knife when you cut the rolls and rinse off and dry the knife after each slice you make. Failure to do so will result in mangled sushi.

The Chinaman is Not the Issue:

This is my nod to The Big Lebowski as the finest cinematic masterpiece ever made. And the beautiful simplicity of Chinese cuisine. Only a few ingredients here, yet the result is more delicious than a White Russian in Jackie Treehorn's Malibu Estate. If you don't get these cultural references, call me. I'll come to your house tonight and show you a movie that will change your life.

It really brings the room together.

1 very small sweet potato, baked and peeled

½ tsp Chinese 5-spice powder

½ tsp salt

A couple splashes coconut milk (water is an acceptable substitute)

Prepared sushi rice

Several carrot matchsticks, sliced lengthwise

1-2 scallions, sliced lengthwise

Several thin slivers of orange zest

2 TBSP hoisin sauce

2 TBSP soy sauce

Mash the sweet potato, Chinese 5-spice, salt, and coconut milk or water with a fork.

Construct your roll: On nori, spread the rice. Add the mashed sweet potato, carrot, scallion, and orange zest.

Slice into 8 or so rolls.

With a fork, whisk together hoisin and soy sauce for dipping.

And remember, Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.

I Want to Dreadlock and Roll All Night (And Sushi Every Day):

Jamaican sushi? YES! It's the culinary equivalent of a reggae-themed anime film. It sounds so oddly intriguing that you at first want to check it out for sheer novelty value. But next thing you know, you're telling all your friends how cool it is!

This recipe calls for Pickapeppa sauce. If you don't already know and love Pickapeppa, I can tell you that it is the single greatest substance known to man. Seriously. It's a Jamaican barbecue sauce made with cloves, mango, and other delicious tidbits. Pickapeppa is available at any large grocery store or natural food market. It makes everything delicious--from eggs to steak to Jamaican sushi.

Prepared sushi rice

2 ounces steamed crab meat

2 TBSP whipped cream cheese (or more to taste)

Several matchsticks of cucumber, sliced lengthwise

Several matchsticks peeled mango

Pickapeppa sauce for dipping (or a combination ½ Pickapeppa, 3/8 soy sauce, 1/8 wasabi)

On nori, spread the rice. Add crab, cream cheese, cucumber, and mango. Roll up and slice into 8 or so rolls. Dip into the Pickapeppa. Savor. Repeat.

The Music Critic:

Music critics, as people, tend to be a little crabby and sour due to low pay and perceived lack of appreciation of our inherent genius. We also can be more than a little nutty due to many hours in the sun at sprawling music festivals. If there is one group of people that can be embodied by something that looks so homogenous on the outside but is overflowing with what to the untrained eye can look like insanity…it’s music critics. If you don’t like it…well…we liked your old stuff better, anyway.

Prepared sushi rice

2 ounces cooked crab meat

¼ avocado, sliced thinly

1 TBSP almonds chopped coarse

3 sundried tomato halves slivered

½ lemon (about 2 tsp lemon juice)

Soy sauce

Assemble the roll with rice, crab, avocado, almond, and sun dried tomato. Squeeze the lemon juice over everything before you roll it up. Roll and slice into about 8 rolls. Dip into soy sauce,

The Muppet:

Based on one very simple, timeless thought; you put the lime in the coconut. It healed Kermit. It can heal you.

Coconut/Cilantro Dipping Sauce

½ of a 14-oz can of coconut milk

2 TBSP skim milk

2 tsp white flour

2 TBSP chopped cilantro

Heat both milks until they reach a boil on medium/high heat, turn down to low, whisk in flour. Remove from heat, add cilantro. Let cool.

Once you've finished with the dipping sauce, it's time to make the roll.

1/2 of a 14-ounce can of black beans, drained

1 1/2 tsp prepared wasabi

Prepared sushi rice

2 ounces sushi-grade raw salmon, cut into strips

2 strips peeled cucumber (½ inch thick), cut lengthwise

1 scallion, sliced thinly lengthwise

3 tsp lime zest or 4 small slivers of lime rind

Make a black bean mash by mashing the beans and wasabi together with a fork (note that you'll have some left over).

Spread the rice on a nori mat. Top with all the remaining ingredients for the roll. Slice into 8 or so pieces. Dip into the coconut-cilantro dipping sauce.