So on a recent road trip to Utah, Emily and I picked up a 12-pack of of delicious, delicious, Pabst Blue Ribbon (it's the blue-collar hipster beer of choice). Poor move. In Utah, all the beer is Mormon-ified and our delicious beer turned out to be only 3.2 ABV. Lame. To make matters worse, we ended up not arriving at our camping destination until much later than expected. So we were stranded in the desert with a half case of warm, watery disappointment. In the end, we threw the beer back into the car, broke out our emergency camping whiskey reserve and brought the insipid brew home.
At home, I decided to cook some beans with most of the remaining beer (what still remains will go to unwanted house guests). Note that all this beer makes the beans pretty beerish (duh), so you could certainly use less beer and more water if you don't want a that big flavor. But I quite like it.
Also note that those carnivorous folks would benefit from swapping out the liquid smoke for ham hocks or bacon. Trust me on this one.
Prep time: 1/2 warm PBR (but it takes the beans a few hours to cook fully)
1 pound dried pinto beans
8-10 shitty beers
1 large onion, chopped
1/3 cup molasses
2 tsp dried mustard powder
3/4 tsp pepper
10 drops liquid smoke
1.5 TBSP soy sauce
Rinse beans and soak overnight. After soaking, strain the beans and throw into a pot with all the other ingredients except the soy sauce and bring to a boil. Continue cooking (covered or uncovered) at a low boil until the beans get nice and soft, stirring every once in a while. If your liquid all boils off, add water as needed. Once the beans are soft and there's not much liquid in the pot, stir in the soy sauce and cook a few more minutes. Adjust the soy sauce and/or molasses to taste.
Yehaw, pardner. You just made cowboy beans!