Xawaash

This is a Somali spice mix used in a ton of different dishes.

2 cinnamon sticks
2 TBSP black peppercorns
1/2 cup whole cumin seed
1/2 cup whole corriander seeds
8 cardamom pods
1 teaspoon whole cloves
2 tsp ground turmeric

Break the cinnamon stick up into a few smaller pieces with your hands. Place all ingredients except turmeric in a medium dry frying pan on medium heat.

Lightly toast spices, stirring constantly, as they become highly aromatic and start to turn a tad darker color (but not burned). When finished, transfer to an electric spice or coffee grinder and grind into a powder. Add turmeric, and store in a cool, dark place with an airtight lid. 

Somali chickpea and potato stew

This is an adapted version of Somali beef stew, bariis maraq, but I use chickpeas instead of beef. But if you want something a little more meaty, I recommend using 1 pound of seitan that is chopped into steak-like strips or pieces, sautéed until a tad browned, then added to the stew 5-10 minutes before the end of cooking. 

Prep time: 2 cocktails

1 very large red onion (or 2 medium onions), finely minced a food processor is great for this, just don't make it completely into a slurry
3 TBSP neutral-tasting oil, like canola or avacado
6 cloves garlic, minced
2 TBSP Xawaash
2 potatoes, chopped into 3/4" cubes
2 TBSP tomato paste or ~2 tomatoes chopped
6 stalks celery (chopped in half or thirds, so they fit inside pan)
2 cans garbanzo beans, drained

1 red bell pepper and/or 1-2 carrots, all chopped (both are optional)
3-4 cups veggie stock homemade or store-bought

Lime wedges and cilantro for serving

Fried banana wheels for serving, optional

Heat a dry large medium to large saucepan or dutch oven over medium heat. When hot, add onions and dry-saute for 5-8 minutes, until the onion have become a little translucent and soft and might stick just a tiny bit to the bottom of the pan.

Increase heat to medium-high, add oil, stir well and then stir in garlic. Saute garlic 2 minutes, stirring frequently. Add spice mixture and stir frequently for 1 more minute.

Add potatoes, tomato paste, celery stalks, garbanzos, carrots/bell pepper (if using), and stock. Stir well and bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer, cover, and cook until potatoes are fully cooked, about 10-20 minutes, stirring occasionally. 

Once cooked, remove lid, discard celery, and cook until desired consistency is reached (should be a nice thick stew that can be served over rice). If too thick, add a little water or stock. Adjust salt and seasoning. Finish with a few squeezes of lime and a sprinkle of cilantro leaves, as well as fried banana, if eating.

The most legit vegetarian BBQ you're ever gonna find. Really.

This is a bit of a labor of love that I've been working on for a while now. While I normally avoid vegetarian facsimiles of meaty meals, this is an exception. Even as a vegetarian for decades, I still occasionally miss the smoky goodness of a pulled pork sandwich or the tangy richness of a brisket slow cooked all night then finished with homemade bbq sauce. Developing a good, realistic-tasting BBQ sandwich has been on my to-do list for a long time. So long, in fact, that I 'test kitchened' this recipe extensively the last few months, making literally dozens of different variations, until I landed on this, the ideal vegetarian bbq sandwich. It is smoky, tangy, rich, satisfying. 

You can also probably use smoked seitan or smoked jackfruit instead of tofu, though I haven't developed a recipe for either of these yet. 

Note that I also use homemade BBQ sauce for this. Just about every store-bought sauce is too sugary and without adequate vinegary bite to make this recipe work. So I don't recommend you use any store-bought BBQ sauce. 

Finally, you'll need some way to smoke some of your ingredients. You can obviously use a standalone outdoor smoker. I actually use an indoor smoker: the Nordic Ware kettle smoker. Don't own a smoker? NO PROBLEM! The internet is loaded with different ways to make your own homemade version. Most of these require little more than a Dutch oven with a heavy lid, some aluminum foil, a steamer basket or strainer, and smoker wood chips (available online or at any gourmet store or retailer that sells grilling supplies). It's easy to make either an outdoor version or a stovetop version for smoking inside.

This makes about 6 'brisket' sandwiches.

Prep time: 3 cocktails

Tofu + Marinade
1 15-ounce brick of tofu
3 TBSP orange juice
3 TBSP Worcestershire sauce
2 TBSP soy sauce
3 TBSP red wine

Several dashes of MSG or dried mushroom powder (optional)

~1/2 cup smoked walnuts (optional, see note below)

The BBQ sauce

6 TBSP butter 

1 cup of my Bold Boulder BBQ Sauce

2 tsp brown sugar

2 tsp agave or honey

Fixings

Buns

Grated high-end white cheddar

Chopped scallions

Pickled red onions (you can use any basic online recipe)

Additional optional toppings: coleslaw, chopped pickles, fresh or pickled jalepeno, thinly sliced fresh cucumber or radish, fried shallots, avocado pieces, and/or caramelized onions.

Note on walnuts: I like to add smoked walnuts to this for two reasons: the walnuts absorb a lot of flavor when smoked, so they turbocharge the flavor of the sandwiches. The walnuts also have a texture that mimics meat a little bit when chopped up and combined with tofu. It's not exact, but it is a nice addition. Walnuts should be dry smoked (so you cannot smoke them with the tofu). I've found that 20-30 minutes is usually plenty of time in my kettle smoker, but results will vary. After smoked, transfer smoked nuts to a food processor and pulse a few times until you have mostly little pieces halfway between the size of Nerds candy pieces or a bit smaller (don't overmix, or else you risk making smoked walnut butter). Add the walnuts to the tofu after the tofu is done cooking on the stovetop in the BBQ sauce. The amount you use isn't super important, but I usually start with about 3/4 cups of whole walnuts, which breaks down to about 1/2 cup of crumbles in the food processor. 

Start the meal preparation by pressing the tofu for 1-2 hours in a tofu press or wrapped in a towel and placed under a heavy pan or books. After pressed, pat tofu dry and cut into 1" cubes. Now combine all the marinade ingredients EXCEPT the tofu and walnuts in a mixing bowl and whisk well. Combine tofu cubes and marinade in an airtight container and allow to marinade a minimum of 90 minutes and up to 24 hours, stirring gently occasionally.

Now smoke the tofu pieces. The method will vary depending on your smoker, so it may require some experimentation. For my Nordic Ware kettle smoker, I do a 60 minute "wet" smoke at 190F on the stovetop with hickory wood chips. The liquid I like to use for smoking is 2 cans of beer, which gives the tofu a bit of extra flavor. Allow to cool to room temperature after smoking. 

About now, you want to preheat your oven to 300F.

Once the tofu has cooled, you want to cut it into smaller pieces that are easier to eat. So slice each 1" cube into 4 thin square pats, about the size and shape of single-serve foil-wrapped butter squares that you might get at a catered event with your dinner roll. Set aside. (Note that you can also shred the tofu to make "pulled pork" style tofu here instead, if you'd like.)

Now make the sauce by melting the butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Once melted, add the Bold Bolder BBQ sauce, sugar, and honey. Stir until everything gets hot and starts to simmer. Whisk it, or, ideally, use an immersion blender, until the sauce is fully integrated. Now add your cooled tofu pieces and stir very gently with a rubber spatula, so as to not break the tofu. Bring bbq sauce/tofu to a boil and remove from heat. Now stir in those walnut pieces, if using. 

Now build your sandwiches: take a standard size cookie sheet and line with foil. Put your ~6 bun bottoms on the pan and top with the bbq tofu mixture. Now top each sandwich with a couple generous pinches of white cheddar and place the pan uncovered in the oven (you can also put the bun tops in the oven to toast as well, if you want). 

Since tofu should already be warm, all you need to do is melt the cheese, so the sandwiches likely only need to be in the oven for a few minutes. Once the cheese is melted, remove, add the scallions, pickled onions, and any of the optional ingredients you might also be using. Affix the top bun and enjoy!

How to doctor fake burger meat

Have you ever noticed that Impossible and Beyond imitation ground beef smells like goddamn catfood when you open it? And while both fake meats taste a lot more like burgers compared with the fake meat product of yesteryear, they still aren't marvelous. This is my quick hack to make those products taste (and smell) a lot better!

You can also get creative with this. In addition to what's below, I sometimes add dried mushroom powder or fresh mushroom pieces, very finely minced onion, fresh herbs, or spices. Just try to remember that you're just doctoring the meat, not making meatloaf, so no need to overdo it! 

12 ounce package Impossible or Beyond fake ground beef
1/4 cup crouton dust (use the food processor to pulverize the croutons)
1 TBSP Worcestershire
1 1/2 tsp liquid smoke
1 TBSP raw scrambled egg or Just Egg
1/2 tsp MSG
Healthy dose of black pepper
2-3 pinches garlic powder
A couple pinches sugar (optional)

Mix all ingredients well with your hands and then form into patties and cook in your normal manner.

Simple tapenade

Great for anytime you need a quick dip, sandwich addition, or spread! I like the big, salty flavor of a Kalamata for this if it is for a dip. But a tapenade with more delicate and mild olives is great for topping fish, chicken, or grilled vegetables (where I might add some garlic as well). You can also experiment both the ratios below and with other ingredients as well. This is a great base recipe!

Prep time: 1/4 cocktail

1 1/2 cup pitted olives, Kalamatas and/or other olive varieties, drained and lightly rinsed
1/4 cup Italian flat-leaf parsley
1/3 cup olive oil
1 TBSP fresh squeezed lemon juice + 1/2 tsp of the grated zest 
2 anchovy filets (optional)
1-2 TBSP capers + 1/2 tsp caper brine
2 TBSP shallots, finely minced
1/4 cup pine nuts
Black pepper to taste

You can lightly toast the pine nuts in a dry pan if you would like, as this brings out their full flavor. But this is an optional step. 

Combine everything EXCEPT capers, shallots, pine nuts, and pepper in food processor. Pulse the mixture until you reach the desired consistency (finely broken down but not all the way into a paste). 

Transfer olive mixture to a bowl and stir in capers, shallots, pine nuts, and pepper. 

Adjust seasoning to taste.

(Sometimes the ingredients will release liquid and it'll pool a little if the tapenade stands fro a few minutes. You can add a couple pinches of bread crumbs to absorb excess liquid. Just don't add so much bread crumbs that you change the flavor or texture of the final product.)

Spiced nuts - aka, the reason I'm gaining weight now

 

I recently gave up booze but I still like to imbibe occasionally and reefer has become my new go-to intoxicant. But moving from alcohol to the Devil's Lettuce has meant that I now develop nearly insatiable munchees on occasion. I had been stuffing my gullet with cookies and other processed snacks, but that's a 1-way ticket to hypertension. So I decided to start making spiced nuts for when I inhale a little jazz cabbage. This is a filling--but much healthier--snack. But the problem is that the recipe is too good! I've started eating these nuts at all hours, even when there's no sticky icky in sight. So just be careful. If you eat too much, you too might need to be mindful of your own ballooning waistline. That's just a testament of how good Deez Nutz really are!

The recipes below are two of my favorite spice combos, but you can use anything you want, like ras el hanout or berbere nuts for an African flair, 5-spice for a Chinese twist, or zatar and sumac for a middle eastern flair. I've even used chorizo or schwarma spice combinations that have turned out great!

There are two prep options below. The chili lime recipe calls for oil and the curry recipe calls for egg as ways to bind the seasoning to the nuts. Both are great approaches. The oil approach keeps the texture of the nuts about the same, while the egg whites make the nuts incredibly crunchy. But both methods are interchangeable--it just depends on whether you want your nuts regular or extra crunchy (or vegan v/s non-vegan). 

Prep time: Almost instant (except the baking and cooling times)

Chili lime nuts

This is my absolute favorite homemade spiced nuts recipe at the moment. 

2 cups/8 ounces of raw, unsalted nuts (my favorite for this is pecan, but anything will work, including a mix)
1-2 TBSP canola or avacado oil
1/2 tsp salt
2 TBSP Tajin 

Preheat oven to 275F in convection mode (if you don't have convection, use 300F and be mindful that you'll need to stir the nuts around a little more often and the baking time may be a little different).

In a mixing bowl, combine the nuts and oil. Nuts like walnuts and pecans have a lot of crevices, so you'll want to add more like 2 TBSP oil to fully get into all the nooks and crannies of these. If you use smoother nuts like cashews or almonds, only 1 TBSP of oil is needed. Mix very, very well (but gently) with a rubber spatula, stirring at least 60 seconds.

Now stir in salt and Tajin. Gently stir super well again with a rubber spatula--at least 60 more seconds. 

Arrange on a foil-lined baking sheet so that nuts aren't touching, and put in the oven to bake for 25-40 minutes, until the nuts have just turned a slightly darker shade and have a nice roasted flavor--but don't burn them! Remove from oven at least once during cooking and stir well and reset the nuts so that they aren't touching before putting in the oven.

Once cooked, let the pan of nuts cool on the countertop for at least 1-2 hours. Then transfer to an airtight container that has a folded paper towel at the bottom to collect any little bits of oil or moisture. 

Curried extra crunchy nuts

Using egg whites instead of oil gives these nuts a super crunchy texture. The quality and age of the curry powder can make a massive difference here, so you may need to experiment with and/or doctor your current curry powder.

2 cups/8 ounces of raw, unsalted nuts (I like walnuts most for this recipe, but any nuts or combination will work)
1 egg white
1/2 tsp salt
2 TBSP curry powder

2 TBSP brown sugar

A few pinches of other common curry spices, optional (can include ground garam masala, cumin, coriander, cinnamon, tumeric, etc.) 

Preheat oven to 275F in convection mode (if you don't have convection, use 300F and be mindful that you'll need to stir the nuts around a little more often and the baking time may be a little different).

In a smallish mixing bowl, add the egg white. Whisk the egg white pretty agressively until it goes from transparent to whiteish. Once egg white is nicely whipped, mix in nuts and incorporate egg white very well (but gently) with a rubber spatula, stirring at least 60 seconds. The nuts should look pretty much dry after the egg is fully incorporated.

Now stir in salt, curry, and brown sugar (plus any optional spices). Gently stir super well again with a rubber spatula--at least 60 more seconds. 

Arrange on a foil-lined baking sheet so that nuts aren't touching, and put in the oven to bake for 25-40 minutes, until the nuts have just turned a slightly darker shade and have a nice roasted flavor--but don't burn them! Remove from oven at least once during cooking and stir well and reset the nuts so that they aren't touching before putting in the oven.

Once cooked, let the pan of nuts cool on the countertop for at least 1-2 hours. Then transfer to an airtight container that has a folded paper towel at the bottom to collect any little bits of oil or moisture. 

All-purpose coconut "alfredo"

Once in a while I want to make something that calls for some sort of basic creamy sauce, whether it's for vodka cream sauce, a hearty addition to a gnocchi or baked pasta dish, a white-sauce pizza, my Chicken Montego Bay facsimile, or just a plain cream sauce for a vitisting friend's kid, keeping this on hand in the refrigerator or freezer (or making it real quickly on the spot) always cones in handy. You can also make this vegan with fake butter and Parmesan without losing too much of the great flavor. 

Prep time: 1 cocktail (but ideally you can let the flavors meld for a few hours or overnight)

3 TBSP butter of vegan butter
4 cloves garlic, very, very finely minced
1 14-ounce can unsweetened coconut milk (or, ideally, coconut cream, if available)

1-2 tsp lemon juice

1 tsp dijon
2 TBSP nutritional yeast
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup pretty well packed parmesan, grated with a microplane (or a vegan version)

Generous several grinds black pepper
A few pinches' worth of nutmeg, fresh grated with a microplane (optional)

A little tapioca starch (optional)

On medium to medium-high heat, melt the butter and then add the garlic, sautéing for about 2 minutes. 

Once garlic is fragrant and turning slightly golden, add coconut milk, lemon juice, dijon, nutritional yeast, and salt. Use a whisk to incorporate it all and keep using it, stirring nearly constantly, until the sauce reaches a boil. Reduce to a simmer and keep whisking often.

After reducing to a simmer, you can start adding the parmesan. Add it a few pinches at a time; if you dump it all in at once, it'll make a big glob of a cheese mess. Keep whisking as you slowly add all the cheese. Once it's all incorporated and melted, you can add pepper and nutmeg to taste. 

If you want a thicker alfredo, now you can add a little tapioca starch and whisk it in well. But I prefer to let it cook down slightly and then cool before a quick reheat to serve. This gives me the right consistency without tapioca starch. Either approach is fine!

As you finish the sauce, adjust lemon, salt, pepper, nutmeg, and nutritional years to taste. Remove from heat and serve or (ideally) let the flavors meld for a few hours before serving.